Trains, Sweaters, Dadaism, and... Illuminati?
As you may already know, for our most recent project we had to create a self-portrait that doesn't actually include our portraits, but rather objects that represent us in some way. We were asked to explore ourselves (teehee!) from many different viewpoints, including others'. I also took an MBTI test (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) to determine my four-letter personality type.
What is MBTI? It's an assessment, a quiz of sorts, that determines your personality into one of the 16 personality types. Each type has four components, consisting of Introvert/Extravert (whether you focus your attention inwards or outwards), Intuitive/Sensing (how you take in information), Thinking/Feeling (the way you make decisions based on that information), and Perceiving/Judging (how you deal with the world). An example of a personality type is ESFP, a.k.a. Extravert, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving. An ESFP would focus his/her energy outwards (Extravert), focuses on information that's received through the five senses (sight, smell, taste, hearing, touch---Sensing), tend to make decisions based on her emotions (Feeling), and would approach situations spontaneously (Perceiving). You can take the MBTI test here, and once you get your personality type you can read more about your results here, here, or here.
Now, I have taken the MBTI test a long, looong time ago, I'd say two years. Since then, I have taken them three more times, but I always got the same result---INTP. Though the percentages varied in each test, generally I rated very high on the Thinking and Introvert aspects, with very slight preference of Perceiving over Judging.
HOWEVER. Last week I retook the personality test, and it seems like my personality type has changed quite a bit...
And dare I say it was well deserved!
I feel like I've changed quite drastically in the past year, but most importantly in the past six months. It's probably due to throwing myself into the arts world at 100 km/h (long story), learning how to give and take criticism, becoming more independent and more critical, saying goodbye to old friends and meeting new ones from all walks of life.
So what does it mean to be an ENTP?
According to the Myers-Briggs website, an ENTP is "Quick, ingenious, stimulating, alert, and outspoken. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems. Adept at generating conceptual possibilities and then analyzing them strategically. Good at reading other people. Bored by routine, will seldom do the same thing the same way, apt to turn to one new interest after another."
ENTP key characteristics:
- clever, quick-witted, confident---loves wordplay and is often drawn to debating
- creative and unconventional---likes to innovate and shock people, loves to break the rules and take risks
- analytical, tends to be impersonal---"they are more apt to consider how others may affect their projects than how their projects may affect others." - Isabel Briggs Myers
- brutally honest, and expects to be treated the same way
- enthusiastic to a fault, tends to see the big picture and leaves the details and execution to someone else
And I find these to be very accurate! But in order to analyse myself more accurately, I had to incorporate other's opinions as well. So I passed a paper around during Principles and Elements of Design class (the teacher didn't arrive that day so what gives), asking them to write eight things about me.
If you see stuff like "single" and "desperate for a boyfriend", I BEG TO DIFFER. I just like to joke about being jomblo. It's a hilarious term. As for the "Iluminati" part (damn you Asa... it's iLLuminati for Antichrist's sake), well, I suppose my late-Thursday-afternoon behaviour can be a bit satanic.
As entertaining as it was (I actually laughed out loud when I read the comments, but then again, I laugh at everything), these guys have only known me for three months. Would the comments be different, had I known them for years? So I asked two of my closest friends---one I've known since fourth grade, the other since kindergarten---what kind of person they thought I was.
The result? Pretty much the same thing, save for a few. They described me as creative, someone who doesn't like to play by the rules. They also verified the unconformative part---I say things as they are, and I'm not afraid to address issues most people would shy away from. However, having known me for longer, they also mentioned some characteristics my college classmates didn't mention, such as being a very analytical person, especially when it comes to analysing situations; my tendency to seem unemotional and cold at times; and how I would rather talk about superficial matters rather than address personal issues, and I have a big mouth---sometimes I slip out secrets without meaning too. They also mentioned that I am somewhat of a scholar---I am knowledgable with a lot of different topics, but I don't always let on. One of them compared me to a book, who doesn't tell you much about its knowledge until you open it, which was very sweet of her :)
The final verdict?
I like myself.
And, I have good friends.
BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS PROJECT IS ABOUT, oh no! So I made a few mind maps, more than enough, actually, to sum up this whole discovering-myself-through-others thing (that could totally be a church program, by the way---Discovering Myself Through Others):
The problem with mind maps? They're great for brainstorming, but not so great for summarising. You know what they say about ENTPs, how they're too caught up with the concepting and don't spend enough time with the actual doing? Yes, well, you're witnessing it right now.
Not fully understanding myself, I rushed into the sketches, and I will say I am not proud of them:
The first one was about creating maps out of objects, to symbolise my love for trains and journeys (I ride the train everyday to college, and though it gets brutal at times, I won't trade it for anything). The second sketch was about creating a silhouette of my face, using photographs of people who indirectly influence my life---such as the inventor of trains, the guy who invented the internet etc etc---but it was still too direct and besides, anyone can ride the train and surf the net. It's not personal enough.
The third sketch put more thought into composition---arranging objects in such a manner to create a movement, also symbolising my love for being on the move. And the third one was a desperate attempt at rounding up four sketches: Donald Trump, mouth blocked with a peanut (because I'm nuts, geddit??? Ha ha... ha...) which sounds like a great Dada piece but not much of a Raras piece.
After feeling like a complete failure, I decided to do an introspection and start again, this time focusing on just TWO questions:
Who am I?
What do I want people to know about myself?
I'm someone who appreciates growth. I value processes over the final results, and savour every moment of my work. This is why I also love to travel, especially on fast things like trains and motorcycles, because I prefer the journey over the arrival.
I have changed quite drastically in the past six months, and I am still in the process of changing---we all change, every day. The person you are now is not the same person you were yesterday, or even two minutes ago.
And that's what I want to highlight in this assignment---growth, progress, change.
These are themes I keep going back to in many of my projects, and for a good reason: these are things I value the most.
Of course, I would also incorporate elements that make up this process---other people have noted my (albeit wacky) sense of humour and vibrance.
With that in mind, I shall now proceed to look for pictures. 60 hour countdown to first class of 2016...